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The Global Drug survey 2015 (published last month) was the biggest of its kind ever conducted. It spoke to 100,000 people from across the world, but one of the reasons given for quitting drugs felt delightfully British. Rather than giving up because respondents died of an overdose, woke up naked in Tesco wearing a Croc as a codpiece or accidentally had sex with a sibling, one of the primary reasons cited for quitting drugs was “getting too old for this sort of thing”. While it’s tempting to grow old disgracefully, raising hell into your dotage, there’s also something undeniably freeing about the idea of never again experiencing the tedium of having the same conversation for four hours straight, or the sinking feeling that comes with walking home in daylight. As I stagger ever deeper into the shitshow that is my late twenties, the idea of a drug-free life isn’t unappealing.