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Ted

“Just moved in?” asks the self-annointed superintendent slash spy/intruder/creep who is also your new neighbour. Joshua Maddox Wellington reconsiders his rental agreement.

THE DAY I MOVED into my Surry Hills apartment was applauded by the loudest claps of thunder I’ve ever heard. Rain and hail pelted my umbrella as if scorpions were falling from the sky. I took slow, calculated steps towards the entrance of my new abode. Small rivers of water soaked my shoes and slowed my pace until I finally reached the door. I fumbled for the key in my pocket, but the door was ajar. It creaked open like the hinges on a rusty crypt and I peered inside. One of the lights above the bar was illuminated, lighting the empty apartment. How strange. I gulped and closed my umbrella, shaking off the rain as I stepped inside.

“Hello?” I whimpered like Adele. I heard the steady rhythm of footsteps increase in volume before they stopped, although I couldn’t see anyone. Then a shadow of a figure eclipsed the wall as it passed. I looked to my right and saw a form shrouded in a black hooded coat, soaking wet. My heart pounded and invisible violins shrieked in torment as two hands raised and slowly drew back the hood.

Frizzy blonde hair fell out and gripped to the racoon-head of Stephanie, my real estate agent. “Awwww my god, this rain is the worst!” she spoke through her nose.

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About DNA Magazine

DNA #193 features and exclusive interview with model Nyle Dimarco. Photographed by the talented Christian Scott during his recent trip down under the deaf ‘America’s Next Top Model’ winner explains his “fluid” sexual attractions. For those who like to spice things up in their underwear draw, you can’t miss our in-depth look at rise in popularity of mens lace, satin, silk and frilled underwear. Meet the Australian All-Male, All-Vaudeville and All-Trash boylesque circus tour troupe ’Briefs: The Second Coming’. As our journalist Jesse Archer sits down for a chat with the men who heating up the stage. For our cultured readers, you can’t go past our look at homoerotica in the arts over the ages. Combining culture with DNA’s much loved bugles and ass we take a look at the phenomenon #readnaked that encourages gay men to discover books by gay authors. It’s all class with ass. On the other side of the coin, we visit the new documentary that takes a look at Chemsex and it’s culture within the gay scene. As for hot guys in this months DNA. We also get up close and personal with the delicious model Diego Sochi in some of the latest underwear fashion and model Aleksander Dorokhov is everything seductive in the exclusive photo series from photographer Stanly Vo. Meet straight mate Tim Phillips, Dear Diva answers some interesting questions about jealousy in relationships, we read up on celebrity fan boy and author Matthew Rettemund and check out the new music of singer John Grant.