by Indy Lawyer
Their ambitions and their future bludgeoning of democracy, truth and decency would have been the stuff of horror tales
My first known sighting of a Union Jack was at the age of 5, in the Dundee Equitable shoe shop in Crieff - it adorned the cardboard box in which nestled invitingly and ever so trendily the heart’s desire of a P1 girl - a black shiny pair of British made Wards Golden Dollies. Dorothy herself with her sparkling scarlet heel clickers never knew such delight. Those creations were duly liberated to find their way into the wardrobe of our family caravan; in due course my teacher remarked with surprise that such wondrous artefacts tickled the tiny toes of one she had wrongly deemed underprivileged albeit clearly capable, loved and cherished. Those were not yet the days of inclusion, equality and pedagogical circumspection.
Naturally in the mid 1960s Perthshire elected Tory MPs, and the map of the world on the classroom wall was coloured pink to designate those lands fortunate to remain part of the British Empire, or shaded, if they were becoming slightly chippy independent members of the emerging Commonwealth. And, my studious little friends and I were oblivious to the existence or future aims of the young Liam Fox, just a year older than us, and Boris and Nigel some 18 months younger. Their ambitions and their future bludgeoning of democracy, truth and decency would have been the stuff of horror tales. Children of the Swinging 60s indeed. Had we known then what we now know……perhaps a posse might have emerged and with the use of Patrick Troughton’s sonic screwdriver, Jon Pertwee’s sarcasm and a little time travelling much strife avoided. Still and all though Britain followed the yellow brick road towards brighter days…
Amongst other things we five year old trendsetting scholars didn’t know was the 1968 ‘I’m Backing Britain Campaign’ and somehow its origins, goals and outcomes seem strangely reminiscent of recent, current and predicted events. There had been a huge deficit, the pound was devalued and there were views expressed that if everyone would just work an extra half day a week for no pay ‘Britain would become the wealthiest country in the world again.’ In short, however, Britain made an arse of itself. Self-deluding workers did volunteer to work extra hours for no pay. Bruce Forsyth recorded a single - ‘The feeling is growing, good times are going, so let’s keep it blowing our way.’ (For Christ’s sake, don’t google or Youtube it, I suffered that vicariously for you - you owe me) Prince Philip, good Greek egg, was proud to ‘Back Britain,’ but didn’t appear to offer a discount or green shield stamps on his own pocket money or his wife’s housekeeping. There were t-shirts; but ‘Buy British’ was printed in Portugal, making as much sense as navy blue British passports manufactured in France. The Union Flag was promoted, including on shoeboxes, jamjars, tins of tea and packets of muffins. And being the British campaign that it was it fell flat upon its pith helmet. Sound familiar?