Years ago I was diagnosed with stage three cervical cancer. I still remember sitting in that chair at Ealing Hospital holding the results in my hands and not feeling anything. I was in a bubble: no sounds, no voices around, I couldn’t hear anything. In my head, it wasn’t even real. For the following months, I spent my life between home and the hospital. Surgeries, chemotherapy, radiotherapy and all the side effects that come with it were part of my daily routine. After my treatments, I was looking for some gentle rehabilitation. I attended my first yoga class at Macmillan Centre at Charing Cross Hospital. I fell in love with this discipline and four years later I flew to Goa in India to embark on my yoga teacher training. I wanted to become a yoga teacher.
As a result of the cancer treatment, I became infertile. Whilst I have never felt particularly maternal, it was good to know that the option to become a mother was available to me. Having this option taken away as a result of the treatment I undertook was difficult to deal with. Not being able to conceive left me feeling like I was not ‘woman enough’ and punishing myself for being ‘incomplete’.