One of the hottest relationship buzzwords around these days is ‘conscious loving’. The concept was made famous by Gwyneth Paltrow who interviewed its inventors, Gay and Katie Hendricks, for her website goop.com, and would later refer to her divorce from Coldplay musician Chris Martin (to much mirth from tabloids and broadsheets alike) as a ‘conscious uncoupling.’
The very phrase ‘conscious loving’ makes me giggle. What is the alternative? Unconscious loving? I have visions of a couple lying comatose on the floor holding hands. A visit to the Hendricks Institute website soon clarifies matters. ‘We do not know the entire meaning of life. But we are very sure it is not to have a bad time,’ reads the headline quote.
This is enough to stop me in my tracks. So much relationship advice out there does not focus on having a good time, providing instead a litany of dull tips about ‘making quality time for one another’, remembering to ‘schedule date nights’ and setting ‘relationship goals’, as if love should be measured in increments like calories or reps at the gym.