ISSUE 68
At last, it’s almost over. The ‘Phoney War’, as we are by now contractually obliged to call it, is all but done, and the Ashes (the real war?) can start. What have we learned this time?
Firstly, there are levels to this thing. You can’t just swagger in as a cocksure youngster and expect to nail it right from the off. Ollie Robinson (“I really feel we could get one over them and give them a good hiding”) and Issy Wong (“I think it’s a pretty good time to play them, you know, just quietly”) are novices, offering unrefined brashness. They have much to learn from master sensei Stuart Broad, who has perfected the art of taking an opinion with a kernel of truth in it, and honing it to the point most sure to outrage any Aussie in the vicinity.