The other day I received a call from my aunt. She lives in Jamaica and she’d heard through the grapevine that I was queer. Her phone call was the first I’d ever had from a relative with the explicit intention of letting me know that she knew. I didn’t expect it, I didn’t desire it, I didn’t know what to do with it. She wanted to know why I had cut myself o‘. Why I had changed my name. Why I looked so di‘erent on my website. And because it was the crack of dawn (or, 10 in the morning for everyone else), and because I was standing in the bathroom with a hangover, and because I gave up on being close to my family about a decade ago, I said thanks for calling and have never phoned her back.
I realised a few years ago that I had closed o‘ the possibility of being close to anyone in my family. I was raised in a large, Caribbean arrangement – Anglicans on one side, Rastafarians and Methodists on the other. There is no doubt in my mind that I was loved, but I don’t think I was ever liked. The only time I have ever felt truly close to my cousins was late one night when we snuck downstairs and came across the adult channel. I was amazed. They were amazed. We all learned how babies are made. Later, the notion of coming out to my extended family seemed strange and pointless. For one, I have never been one for establishing intimate relationships on the basis of biological relation. I have never completely fallen for the idea of a chosen family either, even though I desire it. I am a confusing sibling, a sarcastic child, and will probably be a complicated parent.
Lisez l'article complet et bien d'autres dans ce numéro de
DIVA Magazine
Options d'achat ci-dessous
Si le problème vous appartient,
Connexion pour lire l'article complet maintenant.
Numéro unique numérique
August 15
 
Ce numéro et d'autres anciens numéros ne sont pas inclus dans une nouvelle version de l'article
abonnement. Les abonnements comprennent le dernier numéro régulier et les nouveaux numéros publiés pendant votre abonnement. DIVA Magazine
Abonnement numérique annuel
€29,99
facturé annuellement