As a skeptic, I try to view the world in a rational way, but I’m also a parent, which means I’m insane.
A In April 1995, I became very ill. My doctor performed tests and found a parasite dwelling in my abdomen. I was overjoyed. During the infestation, I experienced nausea, exhaustion, and frequent urination. Finally, I endured hours of excruciating pain, culminating in surgical extraction. Afterward, I hugged the parasite and named it after a dead poet. I brought it home, cuddled it, and bought it many nice toys. The parasite emitted piercing screams and soiled itself. I found this encouraging and took many photographs.
Twenty-two years have gone by since the infestation. The parasite lives in my house and downloads music from iTunes without my permission. I’m a rational person, but I’m smitten. I’d do anything for her.
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