Do not get on your chickens’ bad side, or they’ll let loose a string of poultry profanity that’ll make you blush!

ARTICLE & PHOTOS by Bruce Ingram

Tom Meaker/shutterstock

If you have two flocks, not letting them both out at the same time can cause profanity to break out.

The first time my wife Elaine and I experienced a chicken cursing at us was when we had only been raising birds for a few months. We had ordered straight-run, industrial Rhode Island Reds from the local feed-supply store; and as matters advanced, we came to discover that we were now the not-so-proud owners of six cockerels and two pullets: Peggy and Little Spotty. Five of the males found their ways into various entrées, but those meals (tasty as they were) didn’t solve our problem of possessing a paucity of pullets. So we purchased four young females.

As I was on my knees and releasing the new members from a box into the run, I became astonished when Peggy came running toward me, looked straight into my eyes, and discharged a torrential tirade of diatribes. For those of you who have not heard a chicken spout profanity, their expletives are best described as loud, long, harsh whines which proclaim that you, dear human, have perpetuated grievous wrongs against them. Furthermore, as the whines increase in volume and intensity, it’s past time for this poor judgment of yours to be remedied.