Under the microscope
Author and lecturer James McCreet puts a reader’s first 300 words under the scrutiny of his forensic criticism
Annie Percik has been writing as long as she can remember, but this, a fantasy novel set in an alternative present day without electricity, is her first attempt at a novel. She likes to run away from zombies in her spare time. She enjoys Finnish emo rock music and helps her teddy bear publish his adventures in his blog. He is much more popular than she is online.
1 Some puns are slyly knowing and offer added insight. Some are surprising or deft plays on words. Some are merely opportunist, offering little depth or resonance beyond their immediate gimmick. It’s too early to say which category this title might belong to, but I rather suspect it’s the third one – unless the story turns out to be concerned somehow with class entitlement and the landed gentry.
2 This is a snappy and effective first line. It sets the tone (wryly comic) and asks the reader to wonder briefly how Abelard is able to predict an unexpected surge. What is ‘mana’? We are obliged to continue reading to find out.
3 What is a Chron-E-Fact? Evidently we’re in some kind of science-fiction/fantasy alternative world. Importantly, the details are not spelled out. We’re able to guess from the name and the context what it is. This is good. It’s how a writer engages a reader.
4 A little overwritten, I think. The trick to sardonic humour is keeping it dry and subtle, but this talk of propelling Abelard is a little too eager unless he’s been literally thrown across the bed.