When is a zombie not a zombie? When it starts acting in a sentient manner. Precisely what sort of behaviour should we tolerate from our zombies?

AS GAMERS, we all know what zombies are: exhumans who have been infected or mutated, which have died and then resurrected, devoid of any mental functions beyond an overpowering urge to eat the fresh, live brains of any unaffected humans unlucky enough to be in their vicinity.

So, why is it that we keep encountering zombies that behave like fully sentient humans? Sorry, but if you’re a zombie, you really shouldn’t be able to run, shoot at me or lob grenades at me with unerring accuracy – at least, if you aren’t a specially bred boss-zombie. Frankly, I’m not even convinced that you should be able to climb, but I’m prepared to let that slide in the interests of providing decent gameplay.

Recently, we’ve noticed that zombies have been getting ideas above their station (technically, any idea that a zombie has should be above its station). We need to set some ground-rules.