You know that feeling when one part of your life is in a flat tailspin while another part is soaring to great heights? We are complex beings and capable of experiencing all the emotional seasons in one day like rain on a sunny day. Of course, this can be disorienting and draining, but the trick is knowing how to deal with life when we feel torn in two, feeling both good, bad and just a bit mixed up.

Words MARIE ROWLAND

Illustration creativemarket.com

Have you ever laughed out loud at something funny while feeling desperately upset about a situation going on in your life? Or when asked how you are, have you unconsciously answered, “Up and down.” While that response may sound contradictory, even confusing, it can actually act as a very accurate assessment of how you are feeling in that moment. It might be that you’re feeling really good about home life but are all at sea at work. At a deeper emotional level, you could be feeling a sense of loss that comes with heartbreak or grief, but also feel really energised and comforted by what’s ahead or knowing you have other bonds of love.

… sometimes the heart see-saws up and down, but over time an equilibrium can be found.

In psychology, there is a therapeutic process called “parts therapy”. It is where the client can break down and name the different emotional parts within them rather than be defined by one feeling. And the therapeutic language is recognisable to all of us as we use it every day without even thinking about it. “There is a part of me that is super-excited to be starting over but there is another part of me that’s really scared.” The human condition means we can hold discordant, even opposing emotions within us. It is like being at traffic lights where the red and green lights turn on at the same time. Sometimes this can cause a traffic jam inside us and we simply can’t deal with the conflicting emotions.