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Soul Street

He had a face like a bruised, squashy pear. Yeah, and the brains of one.

‘And make sure ye don’t come back,’ he said. ‘I’m watching ye, mind.’

Security guys. Don’t you just love them? Hired from the loneliest depths of unemployment for the minimum wage. Yet so many of them seem to enjoy what they’re doing.

‘I won’t be back, pal,’ I told him, ‘Try to get yourself a proper job, huh?’

‘Aye, right. Away back hame tae America.’ He even had the quality of repartee you’d expect from a piece of fresh fruit.

Yeah, I’m American, from Los Angeles. Or a little place not far from it, up a canyon my folks hit on a hundred years ago and couldn’t seem to find their way out of. But my family haven’t really achieved much since we founded that small town. Me? I worked as a cop in LA until I had to leave the force…

But never mind why I had to leave and came to Scotland, OK? I chose Scotland because my name’s McClain, which somebody told me used to be Scottish, and also I’d seen a rerun of Brigadoon on TV not long before things got too hot for me. So I flew off, my head full of Brigadoon, mist and heather and then I landed up in Glasgow.

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About iScot Magazine

iScot Magazine March 2017 116 quality pages from THE ONLY TRULY INDEPENDENT PRO SCOTTISH MAGAZINE PUBLISHER HQ'd IN SCOTLAND. "The one with the Up Helly Aa front cover" Featuring the best writers in Scotland today Robbie Dinwoodie, Tom Morton, Derek Bateman, Wee Ginger Dug, Jennifer Harper, Grousebeater, Major Bloodnok, Zoe Weir, Vivien Martin, Dave Bowman, Mary Edward, David McVey, Alyn Smith MEP, Peter A Bell, Dr Steve McCabe, Dr Jamie Reid Baxter, Delia Forrest, Ann MacKinnon, Indy Lawyer, Fiona Nicholson and Jason Michael McCann