IMAGE: EMMA HEPBURN, FROM ATOOLKITFOR YOUR EMOTIONS
Avoidingouremotionscan comeinmanyforms.We mightdenytheirexistence andrefusetonoticehow we arefeeling,orwemight busyourselves doingother thingssowedon’thaveto feelthem.Wemightknowtheyarethere butpushthemdown,nevershowing themortalkingaboutthem–tryingnot to letthem sneakoutatany cost.Orwe might get into abattlewith them:telling themweshouldn’tbefeelinglikethis andwejustneedtopullourselves together.The Harvard psychologist DrSusan David describes this avoidance or suppression as‘bottling’,where you hold your emotions at arm’s length, whichisexhaustingphysically, making themfeelheavyandlikelytodrop unexpectedly.Unfortunately,these emotionsoftenpop outanyway. You mightendupshoutingatyourkidswhen actuallyyourfrustrationliessomewhere else,orsnapatacolleaguewhentheissue is being undermined by somebody elsein themeetingyou’vejustattended.