It’s been 30 years since the launch of LGBT+ mental health charity PACE and much has changed for women who have relationships with women. As well as groundbreaking legislation, we’ve seen lesbian, bi and trans celebrities burst out of the closet and onto our screens. But we’re not all as confident about our sexuality and identity as this new visibility might imply and behind the scenes, PACE continues to do important work helping LBTQI women to heal and thrive. Here, PACE counselling manager Sona Barbosa and domestic violence counsellor Olivia Cunningham answer questions for DIVA readers.
I AM A SURVIVOR OF SEXUAL ABUSE; WILL I EVER BE ABLE TO ENJOY SEX?
Yes; it is absolutely possible for survivors of sexual abuse to be able to enjoy a fulfilling and satisfying sex life. Survivors can experience a wide range of complex and painful feelings because our automatic, biological bodily response during the abuse may have been feelings of pleasure, excitement or even orgasm. This can cause confusion and creates deep feelings such as shame, guilt and blame, which can affect a person’s selfesteem and can lead to ambivalent feelings about sex. Feelings of shame around what you’ve suffered can be overwhelming and prevent you from speaking about your experiences. Breaking the silence about your experience of sexual abuse and finding a way to speak about the impact this has had on you is essential.