I HAVE got some horrific photographs at home. In exchange for a barrow load of bawbees I might let you look at them. You might never be able to sleep at night without the supervising presence of a nanny again. Let me describe one of them. No, it’s not a monster, it’s a picture of a glaikit young man. He’s shilpit, to use a guid Scots word - skinny, angular, awkward, unsure of himself. He has a crewcut. He wears drainpipe suede winkle picker shoes. He’s trying to pretend that he’s confident. But it’s all an act.
Who is this maladjusted creature? Yes, you’ve got it in one. I was that pretendy man