Are you beating the clock or beating yourself up? Vicky struggles to get into a healthy race mindset.

WORDS VICKY BALFOUR

PHOTOGRAPHY VICKY & FRIENDS

Trudging along, pushing our bikes up a narrow, muddy sheep track, like extras in a low-budget zombie movie, Sonnie and I are moaning as friends do about how miserable we are. We’re two hours into the full enduro at Ard Rock, and it isn’t so much the stages that are giving me grief as the long uphill slogs to get to them which have resulted in me feeling drained and unable to push hard when I want to. Climbing out of yet another gully, I can feel my body losing energy and I seriously question whether I’m going to be able to keep this up for the full seven stages.

Pausing to look back over the landscape I realise I’m already beginning to engage my self-soothing mindset tactics. Reframing the mid-transition pause to catch my breath as a chance to admire the view, be present and express gratitude for my body and my life. However, I can feel the familiar frustration gnawing at me that I’m letting myself down, that my times won’t be fast enough.