Ask Ben
DON’T MAKE ME CHOOSE
Each month our in-house agony aunt, Ben Maddox, answers your ludological lamentations
Words by Ben Maddox
Q. Dear Ben,
When does metaphorically banging your head against a brick wall become so frustrating that it transitions into being literal? I ask because I feel like sinking into the warm embrace of forehead on clay after about six months of tooth stripping frustration and I just want to know if I’m ahead of schedule.
I am the premium game buyer in my group and, as I’m a terrible tory douche, I have the biggest house and so I tend to host as well. Sometimes I have a new title that I’m aching to play but mostly we decide what we’ll play when the others arrive. It is then that I start slamming (metaphorically), my rather capacious sinciput against the red brick partition of indecision. All of us, myself included, stand in front of my huge wall of games and, half heartedly, pull one thing or another off the shelf, wave it at the group and feel the cold wind of rejection when they inevitably crinkle their noses. We carry on like this for the projected life span of the universe or until someone just starts setting something up without the consent or the group or we decide to sack it off and get sozzled. Leaving the only memory of the night the red wine coloured rings on my penistone granite countertop.