Most young men want to look good. Some spend a long time trying to achieve it. But I took this to extremes — 10 hours staring into a mirror, constantly taking selfies to see what I’d achieved, sometimes taking 200 photos. And that’s not to mention the countless grooming rituals and the purging, twice, sometimes three times, a day. All for that unattainable dream of perfection. I remember getting up really early in the morning to complete my daily grooming duties and not going to bed till 1am the following day.
After six months of this torture I just couldn’t do it anymore. I decided the only way out was to take my own life.
I lay on my bed looking up at the blank white façade above, praying that taking a large dose of tablets would stop the pain. I remember drifting in and out of consciousness, eventually waking up in hospital. I recall being angry at my parents for saving me.