THERE ARE UNWRITTEN RULES ABOUT BOUNDARIES; LIKE BEING TOO FRIENDLY, HUGGING, OR NOT WANTING TO BE HUGGED, AND IT’S DIFFICULT TO KNOW THEM.

By Angela CHAPES, Individual with autism (a 2022 Contributor Awards Winner)

As someone on the spectrum, understanding boundaries can be hard for me and other adult individuals. There are unwritten rules about boundaries like being too friendly, hugging, or not wanting to be hugged, and it’s difficult to know them. Here are some tips I have to help others on the spectrum understand more about these boundaries.

Tip 1: Personal boundaries

Personal boundaries are limits you set in relationships with regard to comfort levels when you are around others in any type of setting. A boundary is a limit you have. Boundaries include the five senses, environments, social situations, communication styles, and cultural influences.

Tip 2: Teaching others

It is probably easier to teach family and friends what your limits are. Don’t be afraid to teach strangers, others on the spectrum, or individuals with disabilities your boundaries. Teaching them could be challenging, but make the effort. Have someone you trust help. Most people will understand. If they don’t respect your boundaries, don’t associate or keep conversing with them.

Tip 3: Understanding

Understanding what other people’s invisible boundaries are helps prevent any misunderstanding that you might be acting socially inappropriate. Looking at people inappropriately, touching, or laughing may make some people uncomfortable. I think it is important to learn about boundaries and which ones you may not cross.