A PROBLEM SHARED

THIS MONTH WE INTRODUCE OUR NEW PROBLEM PAGE WHERE DR RANJ SINGH AND STONEWALL’S AND RUCOMINGOUT.COM’S WAYNE DHESI OFFER THEIR ADVICE...

AS TOLD TO BEN KELLY

PHOTOGRAPHY: LEON CSERNOHLAVEK

Dear Attitude,

I've been su~ ering from anxiety for years, but it's gradually started to a~ ect me more and it’s getting me down. I've always been rather quiet and had a small circle of friends. We'd hang out at home or go to the pub together.

I just graduated from university and moved to Manchester to be with my boyfriend who I met at uni, and it's been a big adjustment to leave my family and friends in Cornwall. Life is generally OK most of the time, but my new job in a law firm is quite intense and I find it hard to keep focussed when my boss, who is quite demanding, piles the pressure on. I find myself freaking out about it and get worried that I can't meet his expectations.

My boyfriend's mates are really sociable so we're constantly invited out by them. I feel so uncomfortable in their big, loud crowds and we inevitably end up in a club where I have to make up excuses to leave early because I just start to panic. My boyfriend tries to be understanding but I know he gets frustrated when I have these anxiety attacks. It's started to get me down more and more and I know his friends think I'm just being unsociable and rude. I don't want to stop my boyfriend from having his fun so I go home and he stays out.

My doctor has suggested I go on meds to help with my nerves but I don't want this to be the first resort.