Q I have been online dating for numerous years and I recognise a pattern in my behaviour. When I really like a man, I sabotage the potential of a relationship blossoming. I also overthink things. Recently, I went on a date with a guy I fancied. I asked him to ring me and he said he did not like speaking on the phone. I got angry because it appeared he was not putting in much effort and I feel I always give my all. My deepest fear is not finding someone with whom to share my life. Please help! Name supplied
A There’s a lot to unpack here, so I talked to dating and relationship Sullivan, who helped me work through similar feelings.
Elements of online dating are like a marketplace for arranged marriages, but without the safety net of people who know and care about you. A bit of self-protection is healthy in that space; the sabotage is what can happen when that instinct takes over.