HABITS

After decades of failure to complete her many goals, writer Joanna Ebsworth gets some expert advice that helps her to finally fulfil her ambitions

Itt’s good to have goals. When set and achieved successfully, the journey to realising a chosen achievement —whether that be completing a higher education course that enhances your career or crossing the finish line of a charity trek after months of training and fundraising —can give our lives meaning, purpose,and a sense of accomplishment: a feeling of constantly growing and moving forward every day, as opposed to being stuck in a rut and feeling like you’re living the same existence on repeat.

For some of us, however, setting a new goal can feel like we’re setting ourselves up for failure before we’ve even begun. As someone who is inherently ambitious and hungry for a happier way of living, I have spent countless years setting myself a multitude of goals to help further my career and improve my physical and mental health, only to fail miserably at 90 per cent of them at the first signs of stress, over whelm, and fatigue —no matter how much I’ve desperately longed for positive change. And it’s these constant feelings of failure, disappointment and self-loathing over my lack of willpower that have led me toquestion whether there’s any point in me ever setting a new goal for myself again, especially when history tellsme I’m never going to succeed.

Of course, this is a pretty sad situation to be in. When I feel resigned to the idea I’ll never achieve another goal, that immediately puts the kybosh on any notions I might have about writing a novel,

running a marathon, or saving a big enough deposit for a house. And I’m not sure I’m ready to let all my dreams just curl up and die at the age of 46! Moreover, after feeling like I lost the majority of my 20s and 30s to generalised anxiety and crippling panic attacks —and coming out the other side with the help of various therapies —my self-confidence has been restored to the extent where I now feel I’m ready to get out there and embrace the best that life has to offer. So, what is the answer to reversing my dismal goal-achieving track record, then?