Under the microscope
Author and lecturer James McCreet puts a reader’s first 300 words through a forensic micro-critique
UNDER THE MICROSCOPE
James McCreet
Call Me: Cuckoo
‘Nina, there’s a man in a white car parked outside my house.’1
‘So…?’ I try to sound nonchalant in the hope of restoring calm at the other end of the phone.2
‘Yesterday it was a green car.’3
‘Mum, you live in a cul-de-sac behind Woodford Green station.4 Lots of people, driving all sorts of cars park in your street. The car is on the road, not your front lawn, right?’5
‘Right.’6
‘In a legal parking spot?’7
‘Yes.’8
‘Then why are you flapping?9 You’re in a nice neighbourhood where people are good people.’10
‘The driver. He’s rummaging around inside his car.’11
‘Most people rummage around their cars at some point in their lives.’12
‘That may be so, but this guy…13 Well, THEY must have sent him.14 I knew it was only a matter of time before they’d find me.15 What should I do?’16
‘Knock on his window and ask him who he is.17 I’m sure he’s just a normal guy who …’18
‘No, if he’s the kind of person I suspect he is, he’ll have an axe and is here to kill me!’19
‘Why would anyone want to kill you?’20
‘Because of the money from Zurich.’21
‘Money from Zurich…?’22
‘Now he’s found something in the back.’23
‘A long wooden handle with a sharp metal head at one end?’24
‘No.’ 25
‘Then you have nothing to worry about.’26