During my all-girls Catholic school education, many things were left out of the so-called sex education classes. Naturally I turned to the most reliable sources of information I could find – my equally uneducated peers and the internet. Between all the chats about shaving, moaning, Kegel exercises, blowjobs, positions and horror stories, crying after sex never came up. So when it happened to me aged 17, it was quite a shock.
I’d be lying in their bed with the covers pulled up to my chin, wet in one more place than I had hoped for. The tears never lasted long, maybe for a few minutes, then I’d be fine again, but it freaked me out. I would lie there just thinking: Was this it? Were the uncontrollable tears my punishment for having sex before marriage? Would I finally see God and realise being a lesbian was just a “silly phase” after all?
If this sounds like you too, don’t worry! We aren’t broken. We aren’t being smited by God. Postcoital dysphoria (PCD) is a very common condition that causes intense negative feelings after sex. It doesn’t always look like crying though. It can manifest in mood swings, anxiousness or anger. I have had the pleasure of experiencing all of these.