Anyone who says that there are no more taboos in modern society has given little consideration to the universal and inescapable facts of death and dying. A recent survey quoted by the Marie Curie organisation shows that barely a third of British people ever speak to loved ones about their wishes for their funerals, leaving the bereaved having to face hundreds of unfamiliar decisions at one of the worst times of their lives.
I find it particularly ironic, then, that people in the UK are becoming increasingly fascinated by Mexico’s Day of the Dead practices and festivities. An ancient, holy day is being emptied of important lessons it could teach us, only to be used as a retail opportunity at Selfridges. In writing this article, I’ve realised with shock that our society’s dread of ageing is not just driven by companies looking to sell products, but based on our very common and human fear of death.
So what can we learn from Day of the Dead? It arises from the Christian faith and is a perfect example of a cultural integration of death in life. It carries with it a powerful acknowledgement of the thin veil between the living and the dead that people from many faiths and cultures feel is the true state of things. In the west, though, we no longer accept death as natural and yet we cannot escape that each of us have and will face the death of loved ones as well as our own death. What happened? “As little as 60 years ago, children died of many causes. It was not unusual”, Kate Hancock, former programme director of Opening Doors London, a charity for older LGBTQI people, explains. “Extended families also lived together, so the older generation lived and died at home. The body was kept at home before the funeral, and wise women and midwives helped lay out the dead.”