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Digital Subscriptions > Doctor Who Magazine > 504 > YOU KNOW OUR WAYS

YOU KNOW OUR WAYS

Discover the inside story of the Cybermen’s many campaigns...

SUBJECT CYBER HISTORY – IS THIS LEGIT?

FROM Brother Geoff

TO The Brotherhood of Logicians (South London, Croydon and Bromley branch)

SENT 22 September

Dear fellow members of the greatest man intelligence ever assembled, I recently purchased an ‘Info-Stamp’ from a certain well-known galactic auction site. Using my formidable intellectual powers I have managed to decrypt the information contained therein, which seems to be a history of our favoured race, the Cybermen!

Please see the attached file. If genuine, it may also shed some light on the disappearance of Brother Eric on the illfated expedition to Telos.

Yours in logic and the gaining of universal dominion, Brother Geoff

OPERATION : MONDAS

> CYBERMAN-KRANG’S REPORT

CYBER-OBJECTIVE: Save Mondas.

CYBER-PLAN: The energy of our planet home Mondas iiiiis nearly exhausted so we have piloted it back to its twin planet Earth to gather energy. Before life on Earth iiiiis destroyed we will take humans back to Mondas where they will be made like uszzzz.

ADDITIONAL: We have captured their base at their South Pole and Cyberman-Krail has had a fascinating discussion with the human female Polly about eeeeemotions. He explained to her several times that we do not have eeeeemotions but she did not seem to unnderstand. A man called the Doctor also asked Krail if we have no eeeee-motions. The humans’ eeeee-motions make them unn-able to unn-derstand basic concepts like having no eeeee-motions which iiiiis most unnfortunate and repetitive.

ADDITIONAL: The humans repelled Cyberman-Krail’s party so we had to invade the South Pole base a second time. It turns out that Mondas iiiiiis absorbing too much energy from Earth so one of the two planets must be eeeeeliminated to ensure the safety of the other. Therefore we have decided to eeeeeliminate the Earth using the humans’ own Z-Bomb. We have also decided to invade the Earth even though we are about to destroy it. This was Cyberman-Gern’s idea. I think Cyberman-Gern may be experiencing some eeeeemotions that are clouding his judgement. He iiiiis a very silly Cyberman.

RESULT: Mondas has absorbed too much energy and burned up. As we are dependent upon it for survival, it iiiiis the end of the Cybermen.

Or iiiiis it?

CYBER-LOGIC RATING:

CYBER-SUCCESS RATING:

Krang couldn’t really care less.

OPERATION: MOON

> CYBER-LEADER’S REPORT

“It reads, ‘You have recently purchased a laser bazooka deluxe...’”

CYBER-OBJECTIVE: Destroy the Earth.

CYBER-PLAN: After Mondas was destroyed, our supply of replacements was depleted. Rather than invade the Earth and convert the humans, we have decided to kill every living thing. To do this we shall use the humans’ own ‘Gravitron’ against them. To do this we must convert humans without arousing suspicion. To do this we have cut a hole, a simple hole, into the storeroom and contaminated their supply of sugar. Anyone who takes sugar will succumb and be transferred to the medical unit. We will then remove them; we have a Cyberman concealed in the unit via the ingenious stratagem of lying underneath a blanket.

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About Doctor Who Magazine

This issue, DWM celebrates 50 years of the one of the Doctor's greatest enemies: the Cybermen! Contents include: an interview with the woman who designed the original Cybermen, Alexandra Tynan; a look at every single Cyber-plan through the ages, as told by the Cybermen themselves; a new Cyberman comic strip by Alan Barnes with art by Adrian Salmon; a detailed look at how the Cybermen have evolved from their first appearance; Steven Moffat answers readers' questions; The Fact of Fiction puts the 1988 25th anniversary story Silver Nemesis under the spotlight; the Time Team watch 2010's Vincent and the Doctor; actor Jami Reid-Quarrell is interviewed about his monstrous roles (including Colony Sarff) in Doctor Who's 2015 series; a new comic strip adventure for the Twelfth Doctor – 'Moving In' by Mark Wright with art by John Ross; the Watcher praises Galaxy 4; plus reviews, previews, official news, competitions and much more!
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