…for now anyway. Why last-minute cancellations aren’t always as straightforward as they may seem

Imagine the scene. You’ve had the date blocked out in your diary for weeks, you’ve got the food in and planned what you’re going to cook, then the text arrives: ‘Sorry, I can’t make it. I’m not feeling well.’ In this digital era, cancelling engagements is as easy as typing a few sentences and clicking the send button. People carry their devices everywhere, so a change of mind can happen hours, or even minutes, before an event, especially if it’s a group outing. While this can have advantages in terms of flexibility and spontaneity, there are downsides to the lastminute cancellations that phones facilitate.

Shelved plans can disappoint or please, depending on the circumstances. Sometimes, there’s that serendipitous moment, where one party would like to cancel and is quietly relieved when their date calls to say they can’t make it. Both are happy, relief all-round. There are other times, however, especially for those on the receiving end of frequent cancellations, when it erodes trust and breeds resentment. Doing the deed isn’t necessarily a comfortable place to be, either. The chronic canceller must endure the all-too-familiar guilt of letting people down, knowing the white lie that has smoothed over their nonappearance has likely been sniffed out, the real reason behind their decision being chewed over. It’s a minefield of potentially misinterpreted messages and unaired feelings. Is there a better way, both for those itching to get out of an arrangement, and the people left all dressed up with nowhere to go?