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The meaning of marriage

PHOTO JEFF OVERS/BBC

I’m not proud to say that I’ve begun writing this month’s column with a well-deserved hangover. I have the sort of low-level but persistent headache that no combination of tablets will shift, and the desire to eat carbs every hour. I’ve cancelled my gym class, and the day’s sole achievement has been walking our dog. A dreadful waste of a beautiful sunny day, I admonish myself. And yet. Occasionally, an event comes along that is so important and so uplifting, that all but losing the following day to that frenzy of celebration is worth it. My malady is the aftermath of the wedding of a friend and his partner of more than 10 years. The guys beamed all day. They looked gorgeous in their matching suits, made excellent speeches, posed for photos, and danced and danced and danced. And still they beamed. You’d have thought they’d only recently met. But I’ve been to scores of nuptials, why was I particularly touched by theirs? I’ve been reflecting on this in the days since, with a clearer head. The clue was in the numerous conversations I had with other gay couples that night – because it was striking how many of us chatted about same-sex marriage. Those who had yet to tie the knot said how glad they were that, when their moment comes, they too can be “properly” married; not because the legal benefits are much different to a civil partnership, and not just because that title is such a mouthful (so often people mentioned how ugly “civil partnership” sounds) – purely because of the principle. Such a simple point, yet one that took years to make a reality.

And figures suggest those wedding guests were pretty representative. Equal marriage became law in England and Wales in March 2014, and in December that year in Scotland. More than 15,000 couples tied the knot in the first 18 months in England and Wales, with just over half of those being conversions from a civil partnership. In Scotland, nearly 1,700 couples married in the first year, with 1,137 of those a conversion.

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DIVA Magazine
November 2016
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