ALAN PARDEW

“Before the cup final, my daughter  had said to me, ‘Dad, there’s this  new dance’. That must have been  in my head. But yes, I regret it…”

MEANWHILE IN …

…Portugal, Tondela have unveiled one of the greatest mascots of all time –a crocodile armed with a crossbow

GAMES THAT CHANGED MY LIFE EDMILSON

Cruzeiro 1 Sao Paulo 3 November 8, 1995

THE WEIRDEST FINAL EVER

FA Trophy 2020: an EFL outfit against a team with no fixtures

THE ULTIMATE QUIZ

World Cup weirdness, Football League veterans and shared accolades all pop up in our latest set of puzzlers

RANDOM CLUB PROFILE BOHEMIANS 1905

The kangaroo-loving Czech club invented the Panenka – and even hosted ballet

DID YOU KNOW?

ARSENAL AND SPURS BOTH WANTED TO PLAY AT ALEXANDRA PALACE

MY FOOTBLL SUGGS

The Madness frontman on nutmegging Mark Hughes – and witnessing Brian Clough sobbing to Frank Sinatra

ENGLAND’S WORST COUNTY

In football’s Bermuda Triangle, the EFL is fully seven promotions away

REQUIRED READING

BASTA Marco van Basten (Cassell, £20) ●●●●● Italian

THE FOOTBALL GRID

It’s five of the Premier League’s weirdest managerial reigns – featuring Tube tickets, chickens and cheese

JOHAN DJOUROU

Controversially fired by Sion, the former Arsenal man is now in Denmark – next, he’s looking to emulate The Rock and become a star actor

THE VIEW FROM THE STANDS

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BRUNO FERNANDES

“I WENT TO GAMES  AND SANG THE SONGS.  TODAY, I ONLY THINK  OF WINNING TROPHIES”

THE TOP FOOTBALL LEAGUE PLAYERS

As is tradition by now, FourFourTwo presents our annual rundown of the finest players from outside the top flight. We really couldn’t have done it without you

HOW DID WE DO IT?

If you’re a regular reader of FFT, you’ll

FOOTBALL VS THE TROUBLES

Northern Ireland was ravaged by violent conflict for three decades, and football didn’t escape the suffering. Abuse, explosions and gun-wielding motorcyclists made for a miserable existence… until hope replaced fear

“I HAD 20 MINUTES TO DECIDE WHETHER OR NOT TO JOIN LEEDS – BUT IT WAS THE CHANCE TO FULFIL MY DREAM”

He’s best friends with Bruno  Fernandes  and holidays with  Ronaldinho,  but Raphinha is  making his own way at Leeds.  The Brazilian ace has enjoyed  a flying start in England, and  tells FFT why things have just  clicked for him at Elland Road

BATIGOL BIG GAME HUNTER

When Gabriel Batistuta had the goal in his sights, he rarely missed. FFT honours one of football’s deadliest marksmen, 30 years on from his move to Europe

THE LONELIEST GAME IN HISTORY

In 2001, Australia tore American Samoa to shreds in international football’s biggest ever beating. The result sent shockwaves through the game – but as FFT discovers from the protagonists 20 years on, not all was what it seemed

"WE’D LOSE A GAME AND I’D TWO-FOOT THE ‘F**K IT’ BUTTON.

MY THINKING WAS` CATASTROPHIC… I WAS ALL OVER THE PLACE"

MY PERFECT XI ARTHUR NUMAN

The Dutchman represented his country for a decade from 1992, amid a hat-trick of titles with Rangers and Eredivisie crown at PSV. Yep, this team could play a bit

AROUND THE GROUNDS

EFL • NON-LEAGUE • SCOTLAND

SORRY EVERYONE, BRB

Welsh club Merthyr caused controversy when they pulled out of the Southern League for the entire 2020-21 season – as it turns out, they didn’t miss much

BEST&WORST

BLACKBURN ROVERS

BOY’S A BIT SPECIAL

LOWDOWN While his team-mates have been ripped to

WHO ARE YA?  KEITH

COULD BE That bloke in accounts. No one

THE UNLIKELY LADS

CREDENTIALS Best’s life may now be pored over

IAN HOLLOWAY

In 2009-10, ‘Ollie’ took over Blackpool a year after suffering the drop at Leicester – then inspired the fourth favourites for relegation to their first top-flight season since 1971. Now, FFT’s columnist relives the delight

NKAYDEN JACKSON IPSWICH

The striker gets his groove on to kids’ TV, but still has nightmares over a sitter

CLAIMS TO FAME

PETERBOROUGH

“AFTER WE WON INB ISTANBUL, I SPENT ALL NIGHT IN A LIFT. FANS KEPT SAYING I WAS THEIR COUSIN”

The defender steered Liverpool to glory in the Champions League, having fallen out of love with boyhood team Everton

“IT WAS COOL TO BE IN GRANGE HILL. I’M NO ACTOR, BUT MY AGENT ASKED IF I’D DO IT –I WAS LIKE, ‘WHY NOT?’”

After moving to England, the ‘Dead Snake’ appeared on TV – then scored for Portugal in a patently unfriendly friendly

“ROBINHO SAID TO MARK HUGHES, ‘I WON’T TRACK BACK –I TRACK BACK, NO GOAL’. I LAUGHED A LOT”

After linking up with his friend at Manchester City, the midfielder headed to Turkey – then found himself in an Indian police station

“BECAUSE OF MY INJURY ISSUES, I HAD DEPRESSION AND DRANK FAR TOO MUCH. I WAS IN A BAD PLACE”

The ex-Sunderland frontman was on the brink of big things with Leeds – but then came close to losing part of his leg