Even when we cut out the coffee and prioritise sleep, we will still be left with a certain amount of anxiety. This anxiety rises from the inherent fragility of life, but it also offers us the strength of our convictions. That is, when our lives don’t align with our values or capabilities, we can feel anxious – but this feeling can also serve as a critical indicator that we need a course correction. Perhaps you are glossing over inequities in your partnership; maybe you are working in a job that fitted your life when you were younger but now feels as if you took a wrong turn along the way; or you might feel unable to sit idly by as the planet continues to heat up and sea levels precipitously rise. Whatever the issue, this is your body’s way of telling you, ‘Please look at this’. When you listen closely, this anxiety can point you in the direction of actions you need to take, as well as the unique contribution you are here to make; ultimately, this feeling of unease can be transformed into a feeling of purpose. This is what I call true anxiety.
I tell my patients that they should embrace these feelings rather than try to suppress or avoid them. Instead of asking, ‘How can I stop feeling so anxious?’, we should be asking, ‘What is my anxiety telling me?’. It is natural to reflexively resist this uncomfortable feeling. Culturally, we’ve also been taught to view anxiety as a nuisance, something to be suppressed into submission – but when we do this, we can miss out on critical guidance. What if you could learn to tolerate your anxiety long enough to hear what change is necessary? What if you could change the situation provoking your anxiety? What if instead of fearing and fighting true anxiety, you invite it in and hear what it has to say?