We’ll top off this month of me shitting on games people pretend to love by finishing with Goat Simulator – a title that defines our knees-up, clown shoes, rumpitty pumpitty, oopsy-daisy Mr Grimble lackwit obsession with games being ‘hilarious’. It doesn’t work, never did, and the positive Steam reviews suggest nobody cares. It’s the same weak joke your dad tells wrong every Christmas – the game equivalent of an airbag that doesn’t stop you from being maimed but does feature a picture of a kitten wearing a pineapple hat. ■