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DUNGEON KEEPER

Rounding up this month’s Batman-adjacent collection is a game with an abundance of both capes and crusaders, although few characters here have the moral fortitude of Bruce Wayne. Instead, this is a game about preserving power, and dungeoning anyone who holds their head higher than yours.

Crusader Kings II is a hilariously intimidating game. At times, playing it feels like learning to code, but backwards. You start with a desired outcome – war with France, probably – then research every single convoluted step it will take you to get there. Even something simple, such as ensuring your idiot offspring takes the throne when you inevitably die of dysentery aged 36, requires plotting, support, and the ruthless application of power. This level of complexity is approached in other strategy titles, such as in the overhauled espionage and diplomacy in Total War: Three Kingdoms, but compared to the convoluted scheming on display at every level of Crusader Kings II, it all seems laughably simplistic. If diplomacy in Total War games is the eHow explainer on how to make an ice cube, Crusader Kings II is the Reddit thread detailing how to use the correct kind of filtered water and the freeze rate you need to achieve max transparency. It means that it’s a nightmare to learn, but, when you do, you feel like you have more personal investment and influence than in almost any other game. At times, it feels like you could be doing something more practical with your time, such as learning to play Chopin on an egg slicer, but it’s rewardingwhen your plans pay off.

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PC Gamer (UK Edition)
September 2024
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