Invisible ties, UNBREAKABLE THREADS…

By GRETA SOLOMON

Before moving to England, my maternal grandfather was a tailor in Jamaica, and fashion has always been somehow woven into my life. My mum worked for The Burton Group (the famous retail company that once owned Topshop) when she was in her twenties. And before I’d even star ted my A-levels, I managed to get a summer job in the head office of womenswear brand Hobbs, after answering an advert in The Evening Standard newspaper.

In life, it can feel like there are invisible strings pulling you towards passions and possibilities. On the flip side, you can find yourself living within familial patterns that don’t serve you. For instance, I grew up without a maternal grandmother, who died before I was born. Now, history has repeated itself, as my daughter has experienced the same.

There are so many threads that bind families together. But while we can heed the stories, warnings, and wisdom of our ancestors, the things that are unsaid carry much weight. So much so that it can feel like there’s an invisible intelligence shaping our lives. But what seems mystical is more scientific than you might think. And it starts with how we’re socialised as children.

‘Social identity develops through the constant interaction between an individual’s self-understanding and one’s social environment,’ says Dr Sarah Gaither, an associate professor in the Department of Psycholog y and Neuroscience at Duke University. ‘From early childhood, people learn how others label and categorise them — by race, gender, religion, language, or nationality — and gradually internalise those labels as part of who they are. Over time, people also learn how each identity is valued or stigmatised in their culture, which shapes self-esteem, behaviour, and one’s sense of belonging.’