Price: £550.00, frame and fork. Approx £1,300.00 as built From: Stooge, stoogecycles.co.uk

Sometime during high school I had an epiphany: the cool kids were always going to think I was a freak – so I may as well give up trying to fit in and just do whatever the hell I wanted. While this attitude may have led to some interesting fashion choices over the years, it also leads to a whole lot of ‘why the hell not?’ shenanigans. In a world of full suspension, slack hardtails and battery-powered everything, this rigid steel twin top tubed named-after-a-punk-band Stooge MK4 seemed like a perfectly perverse option. To seal the deal, I have eschewed gears – a choice cemented when Chipps told me that single speeding was a very, very bad idea for any Calder Valley rider.

Would dancing to my own beat have me on cloud nine, or in a fug of doom? I girded my loins, packed my hip flask, and prepared to find out.

The Bike

It has two wheels, a rigid frame made of steel, a single 32–17 gear, and zero millimetres travel of suspension anywhere. So, I’d better spend a long while talking about the tyres and wheels. There are two.

Of course, I’m oversimplifying things. The bike is specifically designed around the needs of a rigid frame and fork, with Andy (that’s Mr Stooge) wanting to keep the rider’s weight behind the front axle for better control, while replicating the nimble handling of the 27.5in wheeled Stooge MK3. More specifically still, the frame is designed around a 29×2.6 rear/29×3.0–3.25in front wheel and tyre pairing, with that extra width up front for maximum cushioning. Andy delivered mine set up with a 29x2.3in Specialized Slaughter on the rear, and a 29x3.0 Vittoria Cannoli up front – a slightly less beefy set-up. I’m missing out on a touch of cushioning and rubber, but since I’ve been using it for off-road commutes rather than just weekend blasts, and I’m running it as a singlespeed, the slight reduction in heft is no bad thing. Of course, it’s all set up tubeless – I’ve been running it as low at 12.5/16 psi – so I can really get the benefit of loads of traction along with a good deal of cushioning.