T3’s frequently horizontal braniac soothes more worried tech brows

An extra tip: don’t eat a block of vodka cheese before bed

ILLUSTRATIONS: STEPHEN KELLY

Q How can I get really cosy in bed?

POPPY JONES, LIVERPOOL

A You are the complete opposite to Guru, it seems, since he would stick his hot head in the freezer if it were allowed. Thankfully Mrs Guru is something of a duvet hog, pupating overnight so as to emerge as a beautiful butterfly in the morning, thus your endothermic author gets his temperature regulated for him.

At the most basic level Guru would suggest something that works very well for his daughter: Warmies. Super-cute £15-ish cuddly toys filled with some kind of oaty material, you microwave the whole thing and they come out all hot and lavender-smelling, like Guru after one of his special showers. They’re not for everyone – smaller children will be confused that you’re zapping Mr Cuddly in the microwave, and adults might resist taking a soft toy to bed. But for the right audience, they’re perfect.

Let’s tech it up, then. That’s what grown-ups want. Electric blankets are really rather good these days; It makes automatic temperature adjustments to ensure you retain heat without a localised runaway greenhouse effect Guru would lean towards the Snuggledown Intelligent Warmth (£110), a heated mattress topper with dual controls which allows co-sleepers to each dial in their own optimal settings and even get a little extra toastiness on their toes.