This might seem like a ridiculous question – after all, most of us have hundreds, maybe thousands of conversational exchanges every day. But stop to examine these exchanges for a moment and you’ll realise something astonishing. Each one – and each segment of each one – requires an intricate sense of timing. Like a squirrel weaving across a six-lane motorway we’re required to weave in and out of split-second gaps, spot openings and predict the intentions of multiple people.
Yet, somehow, we manage to pull off this strange ritual, part-dance, part-mindreading trick, many many times a day, without even thinking about it. We seem to know instinctively what’s expected of us in conversation, so – in most situations, at least – we speak almost automatically, without wondering: is it my turn yet? What should my contribution be? What are the rules we’re playing by?