Whether it’s concern about an ongoing quarrel with a colleague or fears for a sibling’s health, it’s helpful to discuss worries with trusted friends or family members. When sharing becomes dumping, however, that load might be too heavy for them to bear

There’s a thin line between healthy venting and emotional dumping, and the distinction between the two is easily blurred. Getting things off your chest can be cathartic, but what if that relief comes at the expense of another’s wellbeing? Breathe sat down with two experienced therapists, Balbir Bansi and Baksho Johal, to navigate a path through this tricky terrain – no matter on which end of the conversation you find yourself.

What’s the difference?

Emotional dumping can feel like venting, but there are key differences. The need to vent comes from a natural desire to express an emotion, such as frustration or anger, in an environment where you feel safe. Balbir says that venting is often time-sensitive, for example, someone might want to bemoan a work issue for 10 minutes and then move on once they’ve got it off their chest. Emotional dumping, however, often happens over a longer time span, with the dumper – intentionally or not – frequently revisiting issues, blaming others and monopolising the conversation. The dumper exits the conversation feeling lighter. The listener is overwhelmed, burdened by the weight of heavy, and sometimes toxic, emotion.