Dating can be nerve-wracking. You are often forcing yourself to be vulnerable with a near stranger, and the pressure to seem both alluring and yet normal can feel like forces pulling in opposite directions. So if you’re a nerd like me, here’s how to use books to get the girls… When I gained the confidence to look for traits in a partner – other than “do they like me?” – I realised that someone who could hold a stimulating conversation would be a good place to start. But dates are naturally quite awkward and conversation can be stifled. I remember one date with a nurse; she was very sweet but kept pointing out people in the pub that had “good veins”. Luckily, I have a couple of friends who are also nurses and reassured me I was not on a date with a vampire! After spending all day taking blood, they told me, you really can get excited about people with “good veins”.
Other than the 30 minutes of back and forth about which veins she’d take my blood from, our conversation wasn’t up to much. So after that, I decided to try and come up with safer topics that would create a bond, but without involving needles. I soon started talking to another woman online and she said that she liked reading. I suggested that we should read the same book so that we could discuss it on a date and she agreed. I hastily checked a list of trending books and, after a toss up between a book about Piers Morgan or losing weight, I settled on one about murder, as it seemed like the most pleasant option at the time. So, we both started to read Gone Girl. As the hours passed and we got closer and closer to our first face-toface meeting, it became apparent how inappropriate the selection had been. Nevertheless, I persisted, and practised my best “I’m not a psychopath, honest” face in the mirror. As I spotted her waiting under the big clock in London Waterloo, I approached her with nerves bubbling away. A hug? A kiss? A handshake? Oh god. This is why us book types like to stay inside.