Ihave covered imposter syndrome in this column a few times over the last decade, so you’d think by now I would be able to control my own fear of being found out as a fraud. But no, it seems up to recently I’d only been subject to a mild form. I’ve had, at best (or worst, depending on where you stand), a poor relation of the condition – imposter syndrome light. Almost not worth mentioning. I’ve since advanced to what I can only describe as imposter syndrome deluxe – upgraded, enhanced and reinforced – imposter syndrome on steroids!
And what caused this disintegration of my self-worth? Did someone knock my books? Leave a scathing review? Laugh when I told them I was a writer? It was none of these things. It was something much scarier: I experienced success.
Children in Chains, the second in my DI Sterling series, achieved one of those coveted No 1 bestseller stickers. My immediate reaction was that there must be some mistake. Maybe they confused my book with someone else’s with a similar title? Or maybe it was a late April Fool’s joke? It was neither of those things and – no matter how many times I refreshed the page – the lovely little yellow sticker remained in place.