PAUL FLYNN
Swapping all the slimming tips of the stars for mental gymnastics has taken a huge weight off my mind
JANUARY 2017 has come and gone, and I’m looking at the lonely DVD stand in Tesco. Most of the discs are cheap and star affable, relatable celebrities ready to pocket the profits of persuading us all how easy it is to lose weight — a deception I’ve never quite bought into.
There is Scarlett from Gogglebox in gym wear, pre and post muffin-top makeover. Next to her is Charlotte Geordie Shore Crosby, promising a three-minute bum blitz — words that are likely to be misinterpreted round these parts.
For the more matronly and middleaged (me, I guess) there is Lorraine Kelly looking yogic, much thinner than she was. Lest this be seen as just a woman thing, YouTube sensation and living advert for what to do with the most quantifiably boring aspects of being young, male and heterosexual, Joe Wicks is topless, muscles tightened.