LIFE LESSONS

PATRICK GALE IS A NOVELIST WHOSE LATEST BOOK A PLACE CALLED WINTER IS ABOUT AN ENGLISHMAN WHO MOVES TO CANADA IN THE EARLY 20TH CENTURY TO BECOME A FARMER, AND EMBARKS UPON A GAY AFFAIR.

PATRICK GALE

My boyfriend is getting controlling and raised his fist to me

DEAR JOE

I have been with my boyfriend for the past nine months or so. The beginning was great, we hit if off well and everything looked promising, but in the last few months he’s changed and has become really critical of me. He puts me down in front of friends, when I tell him I don’t like it he tells me I am just imagining things and being too sensitive. When we make plans he’s often late or doesn’t even show, and if I complain he tells me he is upset that I do the same thing – which isn’t true. Lately he has been accusing me of being on Grindr and hooking up with other guys, which is absolutely not true. Things came to a head last week when he grabbed my phone from me after I received a text. I tried to grab it back but he shoved me and showed me his fist in anger while shouting at me. He didn’t hit me but it terrified me. I get on with him like no one else when things are good but I feel bullied by him. What should I do?

MATTY, ROCHDALE

HI MATTY

Everyone’s relationships are good in the beginning, so that is not surprising: Anyone can put their best foot forward and showing their best face. That is the easy part. It’s not an indication of who that person truly is.