Ask Dr. Malcolm
Dr. Malcolm answers parents’ questions and concerns about their autistic children. You can submit your questions here.
By Ronald I. Malcolm, EdD
Linah of UAE Dubai asks:
My child refuses people’s touch but still asks for hugs. I don’t know how to deal with it. How do we distract him from certain class peers (KG1) who hate his excessive touching of them? He used to be polite and wait, but now he takes what he wants, especially if he knows that the answer to his question is ‘No.’ How do I deal with it?
Hi Linah,
Excessive unwanted touching can pose a problem for other children in a mainstream educational setting. Here are some ideas for dealing with this issue.
Explain and remain calm
Teachable moments about touching others will present themselves to you as a parent throughout the day. It will be important that you calmly explain to your child with autism that it is not alright to touch other people.
Review with your child that it is okay to ask another person if you can touch them. However, if they say “No,” you must respect that. Explain your reasoning clearly.
Remind your child that you know they don’t like to be touched without permission, and the same is true of others. Your child may be touching others to communicate his needs or wants.