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Digital Subscriptions > Attitude > 269 > R u Coming Out?

R u Coming Out?

WE LOOK AT HOW YOU TACKLED THE WHOLE COMING OUT THING

RYAN, 21, STUDENT, SOMERSET

One of the earliest memories I have of realising I was different was writing lyrics down to a catchy song I came across, which worried my mum when she found them. The song was called ‘Gay Boyfriend’. I cried and said, “Now you think I’m gay.” I’m fairly sure I knew nothing of sexuality at the age of seven but I knew that being gay was somehow wrong.

The rest of my childhood consisted of hiding these feelings. I would watch straight porn the night before a friend was due to come round so if he ever looked at my internet history, he would think I was straight. I would pretend to get lost around school, to get out of P.E. And I would hide a two-year experimentation at the age of 14 with one of my friends where we wouldn’t talk to each other; just figured out how ‘things’ worked. (He’s straight.)

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About Attitude

Out gay NFL player Michael Sam leads our All American issue. Inside, there’s an exclusive extract from the book everyone’s talking about What Belongs To You, gay singer Parson James on growing up in the homophobic and racist Deep South, and an interview with the guys behind the excellent new Robert Mapplethorpe documentary. Elsewhere, there’s our Gay Guide to America, we look at Hollywood’s history of closeted movie stars, and celebrating the icons that made queer USA great. Plus, FREE with this issue our guide to best of Thailand.
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