How many of us have heard the line, “Why can’t you just get over it?” Or “Haven’t you moved on yet?” when struggling to get over a dificult break-up? Even after the most amicable of splits from an intimate relationship, it can be painful, or feel dificult to face our ex when we inevitably bump into them. For survivors of abusive relationships, this becomes exponentially dificult.
In a 2017 report titled LGBT+ People’s Experiences of Domestic Abuse, Galop, the LGBT+ anti-violence charity, highlights the startling prevalence of domestic abuse in LGBTQI relationships, including those between women (cis and trans) who sleep with women. One in four LB women have experienced domestic abuse and 39% of calls received by the National LGBT+ Domestic Violence Helpline, run by Galop, are from women. For transfindividuals or people who experience additional vulnerabilities, such as having a faith, ethnicity or disability, the risk is substantially higher.
Part of the problem, a domestic abuse caseworker at the charity says, is that there is often a misconception that women can’t be perpetrators of abuse. Reasons for this include a lack of understanding about what the term domestic abuse means, a pervasive gendered reading of violence, or a lack of belief by the victim that they have experienced domestic abuse.