A problem shared
Got a problem? DR RANJ SINGH and WAYNE DHESI are here to offer their advice...
Tony, Leeds
Hi guys, I was recently in Hyde Park enjoying the sun with a group of my friends.
My boyfriend continually tried to hold my hand, something I wasn’t too comfortable with so I kept putting things in my palm — a phone, a drink, my sunglasses — so that he couldn’t. I think he got the message and was quite hurt by it. I’m just not the biggest fan of public displays of affection. It’s not that I’ve never had any particularly bad experiences with them, I just don’t like them. He’s my first boyfriend so I’ve never really had to deal with this before. What do you reckon I should do?
OLLIE, NORTH LONDON
→ RANJ: Showing affection or intimacy doesn’t always come quickly or easily, so don’t beat yourself up if you don’t feel ready for it. However, it might be an idea for you to ask yourself why you’re not comfortable with PDAs.
Our own preferences, previous experiences, feelings about ourselves and our sexualities, and how you feel about your boyfriend or partner may all have a part to play. Like you say, he’s your first boyfriend and this is the first time you’ve had to deal with something like this so don’t worry if you need more time; that’s OK.
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