Few people, these days, would disagree with the theory that it’s crucial to take time for yourself. Creating some spacefor enjoyment and restoration each day, or at least every week, is a win-win proposition: it’ll make you both happier and more effective in fulfilling your responsibilities at work and home. In practice, though, it rarely happens. For some, that’s because deep down they feel they don’t deserve it. For others, it’s simply that the momentum of a busy life makes it seem impossible to press pause. Either way, making sure you actually get a moment to yourself requires a shift in perspective. If your schedule’s crammed, you won’t find extra time; you’ll have to make it.
Don’t wait until it feels right. It’s unpleasant to have unfinished tasks nagging at your mind, so it’s tempting to tell yourself you’ll only unwind once everything is under control. But since both work and family life generate an infinite number of to-dos, that strategy’s doomed. As time-management writer Laura Vanderkam points out, it’s far more useful to learn to tolerate the discomfort of knowing your email inbox is filling up, or that the living room is still a pigsty, and switch off for a bit anyway.c
Choose true enjoyment. It’s all too easy to fill ‘me time’ with things you think you should enjoy, above all exercise. If you genuinely love such activities, they’re perfect. But if the truth is that you don’t, you’ll only get resentful: we rebel against being told what to do, even when the person doing the telling is ourselves. Make sure at least a small part of your week is spent doing something you can honestly say you enjoy for itself – not just because you feel virtuous for having done it.