Writing a diary is therapy for me and I’ve kept one since I was about 10 years old. It’s always helped me to write things down. You start off a bit self-consciously but then get to the point of thinking ‘no one is going to read this and I don’t care’, so you allow yourself to be honest and it’s a great way to deal with problems. Once it’s written down, you can switch off for a bit.
[On writing her book,
Meant To Be: My Journey To Motherhood:]
I wanted to be able to help people on that lonely road of things not quite turning out as planned when it comes to having a family. I thought if I could give people hope during the dark days, it would be a good thing. It was both easy and difficult to read my old diaries and relive that time while I was writing, but I found a rhythm: I’d get up and write in the morning, take the dog for a walk, then come back and keep going until my daughter came home from school. It did become all-consuming.
My daughter is really strong-minded and so am I. I wanted a baby and that was that - there was no getting through to me at the time. I read my book to Billie [Lisa’s 14-year-old adopted daughter] and she said: ‘You really wanted a baby so much, didn’t you?’ It’s true, I did. She said how pleased she was that it didn’t work out because otherwise I wouldn’t have her! I totally agree with that now.