Freed from the trap
What in your life has to be just so? Ali Roff discusses how needing things a certain way can prevent us from enjoying the many delights that life has to offer
“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray” RUMI
My yoga teacher often treats us to a ‘dharma talk’ after our practice – a short musing on life and happiness. Recently, he asked me, ‘What can’t you negotiate on?’ To which I replied, ‘Well, I have to have my bed sheets tucked in like a straitjacket.’ ‘And what happens if you can’t have them just so?’ he asked. ‘If I feel a fold or rumple of fabric underneath my skin, I can’t sleep.’ His kind eyes smiled at me.
My way or the highway
The moment we just have to have something a certain way, we trap ourselves – this was the lesson. When I told myself that I was the kind of person who needed my sheets tucked in to within an inch of their lives in order to be comfortable enough to sleep, was the moment I cornered myself into a small box of circumscribed happiness. And yet, in our society, we often champion people who like things a certain way, who have specific tastes – who know what they want and aren’t afraid to ask for it.