ADVICE
Q & A
Our new agony aunt, Dr Martha, offers a different perspective on your problems
Q
My
partner doesn’t want any more children, but I would like more. I am fearful of resenting him if I give in to his wants and needs, and I feel really stuck and upset. How can we move forwards in our relationship when our vision for the future is so at odds?
“ How can we align our hopes for the future?
This is a common challenge. Becoming a parent is hard on relationships, and, for some partners, the idea of doing everything all over again is terrifying.
There is a good reason your partner doesn’t want another child, just like there’s a good reason why you do.
Open communication will help you understand each others’ perspective.
Being parents is exactly about this – communication, understanding, and finding a way through together. Here are some ideas to help you get started:
● Know what you want before you start talking. Take some time to really think through your wants for another child. Have you thought of how it will shift the balance of your current family life? What worked well last time that you want to do again? What would you like to be different? How realistic is it to have another child (physically, financially, and practically), and how will this impact on your relationship?